What Have I Learned?

I have been making wishes.
LOTS of wishes.
I thought they were just for birthdays
or fountains,
a few wishes a year. 
Less than a handful.
But a friend told me 
about something called the
"Grandaddy Power Period",
when, based on our individual
astrological time period,
our power, influence and wishes are strongest.

Mine is happening right now, and lasts for about 26 days.
I get at least 26 wishes. 
That doesn't sound like a lot, 
but when you're trying to be thoughtful,
it starts to feel overwhelming
in a good way.

I wrote down a wish the other day,
(I'm writing a wish every day)
wishing to not forget all that I have learned since March 13, 2020.
But, what have I learned?

I've learned that what happens in the world
directly impacts me, even if I try to avoid it.
How connected we all are, even with our 
disagreements, we are so connected.
We all must matter to each other. 

I've learned that the most important things in life
do not include work.
Or job titles. 
Or working longer hours than everyone else.
Or throwing yourself on the sword
to keep work going, to the detriment of yourself. 
That the work ships keep going with or without you,
and that is a good thing. 

I've learned how much I love my family,
and how much more time I want to spend with them.

I've learned that bodies are fragile,
that hearts are more fragile,
but there is actually a lot of strength acknowledging
that fragility, and it needs to be respected and protected.

I've learned how the system works,
​and how terribly broken it is.

I've learned that I know nothing.

I've learned how hard I fight myself,
fight with myself, fight with the Universe
over how I think things should be
instead of surrendering to how things are. 

I've learned that I can walk away from anything
that does not deeply resonate with me.  
I can give up on things,
and that is okay. 

I've learned that I get stuck.
Stuck in a rut. Stuck in time.
Stuck in a sick body. 
Stuck in letting go.
Stuck in the idea that I have control.
Stuck in the idea that how I feel today
is how I will feel forever. 

I've learned that I cannot
allow my pain to hold me back. 
I am complete as I am.
I am complete as I am. 

I have learned that life and people
can actually make you sick,
suck you dry, 
if you allow that. 
I have learned about energy vampires.
Woo. Those suckers can be nasty. 

I have learned that I was a cool kid,
and that kid still lives inside me,
I am still her. 
And she is still me. 
I am trying to connect with her more,
invite her to play. It is hard,
but she is worth it. 

I have learned the importance
of hope.
And spreading hope to others. 

I have learned how to ask for help.

I've learned that I need to be
more gentle with myself.
I need to speak real, true, 
kind words to myself. 
Every day. 

I've learned that death can come
death does come
to those we love. And we have to accept it.
It will come for me too, but not today. 

I've learned that I can redefine my dreams.
That I can release myself from shame.
That I can use the power of gentleness
of my spirit to heal my wounds,
other people's wounds.

I've learned to soften,
to be like the warm summer breeze,
sunny and caring,
to stop pushing so hard 
to get others to change
and to love them as they are. 
And myself too. 

I've learned that my old life is over,
change has come, 
the winds are blowing in a new direction,
and I will to go where the strong breeze invites.