I met you deep in the raw, sweaty jungle
all of us on our own, all of us seekers, not knowing what we were seeking, or why we were there
I knew I loved you right away
Brown, shiny hair in buns, brilliant mischievous smile,
a gleam in your eye, always. I loved just being close to you.
Each day, we grew closer, catching and throwing knowing looks at each other,
we braided our histories together.
I remember, sitting in an open air porch, listening to the sounds of howler monkeys, toucans,
drinking shitty coffee
(but at least there was coffee thank God for coffee)
(but who makes shitty coffee in Costa Rica?).
I told you my truths
and you cried for me.
You told me your truths
and I cried for you.
We bonded like we were stuck with our feet in concrete, forever, I could have stayed there forever.
Sitting by the pool
I could see you not paying attention
to the lessons about history and philosophy.
You were watching a hummingbird.
Taking in that special moment to see the
movement and connection between flora and fauna.
You were perfectly in the here and now.
I didn't know how to do that yet.
Every morning, you told me about a dream you had that I was in,
or something you thought of that might help me, or a compliment
It made me feel so special, seen, heard. To have someone help me start my day
with love and gratitude
You still do. Always there with reasonable advice
I could (and can) see myself reflected in your eyes, it makes me feel steady
I hope I make you feel that way
Life batters us
and lifts us
and it is hard to hold the agony and the joie de vivre at the same time, I know.
But I am here, holding it with you, always.